Name: Gina chan

Title: "If I Can't Have You..." (Fic)

Series: Original

Category: Dark/Depressing, Graphic/Gross

Subcategory: Original

Rating: R

E-mail: deadcarnie@qwest.net

Site: http://chibi_crime_family.tripod.com/

"If I Can't Have You..."

"I love you, why can't you accept that?

Why must you turn away when I tell you this?

Am I really that horrible, that you wish to have nothing to do with me?

At least give me a chance! Allow me to prove myself.

Fine. I see. Good-bye."

I hang up the phone with a heavy heart, and tears in my eyes.

I turn off the lights and weep in silence.

After God knows how long, I fall asleep.

Dreams over take my mind.

I see....I see walls painted in blood.

I also see a naked figure lying still 'amongst twisted and torn bed sheets.

Disembodied laughter echo's into my ears as little maggot larva begin to form

on the bloody walls.

I awake drenched in my own sweat.

It is still dark outside.

Not even the moon cast it's beams thru my window.

As if possessed by an unknown spirit, my legs march my body into the bathroom.

I turn on the light above the sink, and black out.

"Nnnn". My leg hurts.

I grasp it and open my eyes.

Wetness! Red wetness covers my right leg and hands.

How? I then notice a crimson stained shaving razor lying on the floor.

I.....must have done this after I passed out?

Flinging the 'hot' and 'cold' valves, I let loose water into the tub.

I submerge my half dressed body, tainting the ever rising water dark pink.

"It's so pretty" I whisper to myself.

Again I drift into an unknown state.

This time, I am surrounded by pitch blackness.

My eyes try to focus, but there is nothing to focus on.

What is this strange place?

I try to grope around and walk, but find myself unable to move.

A cool chill wraps around my neck as a familiar voice speaks;

"Hello baby.

I want us to be together, to be happy, but it just can't be.

Not while we're still alive at least.

I'm sorry for being soo mean to you on the phone.

For all of the cruel things I had said."

I try to speak, but cannot.

I want to say "How can you be here with me? Where are we?"

Again my beloved speaks;

"You know what you must do baby.

Come to me so we may be together for eternity."

I come to, still in the tub.

The water has now over flown onto the bathroom tile.

I get out, but do not turn it off.

What do I care now?

I'm about to be with my beloved!

It appears my leg has stopped bleeding.

I go into my bedroom and change into a dry pair of clothes.

Taking a can of gasoline, I pour it through out each room.

I take a serrated kitchen knife and place it between my teeth.

Before I leave, I flick a book of lighted matches onto the couch.

I then turn and walk out of the door.

Walking.

I've been walking at least 10 minutes.

My fingers tightly clutched around the knife handle as my feet slap the road.

I hardly notice a pair of lights coming my way.

As it comes closer, I can tell it's from a car.

It stops just a few feet in front of me.

"Hello there!

What on earth are you doing out this late??

Are you ok?"

The driver then notices the knife in my hand.

But it's way too late.

I drive it hard into his gaping mouth.

With inhuman strength, I force the blade up, up, up!

Up until it rips free from the top of his balding head.

I then grab his twitching body and drag it out from the car.

Leaving him on the road side as I pull away.

Signs fly by in a blur of humming motion.

My foot is like lead on the gas.

Not much later, I arrive at my destination.

All is silent, all is dark.

I get out of the car, a sudden rush of nausea hits me.

I tremble. My eyes water. My knees buckle.

The gory knife drops from my grasp.

I can feel it!

Chunky, acidly bile crawls up my throat.

I try to swallow it back down, but it's no use.

I try to keep my lips sealed, but it's no use.

Putrid liquid gushes forth from my mouth.

Everywhere. It lands everywhere.

Even on the knife.

I don't care, I pick it back up.

I now stand on my beloved's front porch.

I peer thru the living room window to see my love lying on the couch.

My heart pounds in my ears as I throw my body through the glass.

"Aghhhhhhhhhhh!!"

I look up to see my love screaming in horror.

I spit out glass, blood, and left over vomit as I weakly stand up.

"I-I came...just as you asked."

"What the hell are you talking about?!

I told you to leave me alone you fucking psycho!!

I-I'm going to call the police!"

"I have come to bring us to eternity."

I extend my soiled hand.

"Come Richard, embrace my blade."

"You're a sick beast!!!"

My love flees up the stairs as I follow.

2, 3 steps I leap at a time.

So close. I reach out.

Yes!

I black out yet again.

"-ATE YOU! I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!!!"

I grasp my head and open my eyes.

In front of me is Richard.

Stripped naked and impaled to the wall.

So helpless and beautiful.

With my bloody vomit coated hands, I pry his mouth open.

"Your tongue is soo soft."

I slice it off and rub it on my face.

"How do I taste?

Please, don't look at me with such shocked eyes."

I throw the tongue to the carpet and force my thumbs into his eye sockets.

I feel them pop like rotten grapes 'neath my thumbs.

He tries to scream, but only makes low 'gluging' noises as

blood sprays all over.

My breathing quickens as I wrap my hands around his convulsing neck.

With all of my might I squeeze until I hear loud crunching.

I feel shards of glass dig into my ear as I place it to his chest.

No heart beat. Nothing.

The sound of loud sirens molests my train of thought.

I peek out of the bedroom window to see red and blue flashing lights.

What fools, it's too late for them to do anything.

I rip the knife out of the wall and Richard's hands.

His body slumps to the floor leaving a slick red trail on the wall.

I yank a sheet off of the bed and place it on his lifeless corpse.

"Freeze! Drop the weapon!!"

I turn around.

5 guns trained on me.

"Drop the weapon!" One of the officers repeat.

I throw the knife at him.

*pop*pop*pop*

"Uhh!"

Hotness. Hotness burrows into me. All over me.

Searing and tearing my flesh.

I feel my bowels release and my body fly backwards.

My vision and hearing are fading.

My thoughts too, are fading.

Everything is fading.

Fading into eternal blackness.